I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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