I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Less talking, more tequila
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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