i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he fucked my hip out of place.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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