He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
