did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
