Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
