i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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