it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
