I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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