quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
