The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
