I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
