walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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