So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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