It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
