I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
