how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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