Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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