Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
