I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize