It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
