i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize