If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
