I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
