Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
