i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
