i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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