i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you will always have a special place in my vag
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
