He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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