I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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