I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
