i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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