No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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