Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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