he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
