WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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