At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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