Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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