She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
