ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
