she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
