dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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