We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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