Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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