i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
