my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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