Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
