I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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