i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
