was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
