the condom got lost in my hair
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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