Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
