And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
